iPhone

Inspired by Julian Smith, we are going to have a four part series on the Apple iPhone.

The iPhone is a device that is apparently useful. No one is aware exactly how it works, and no one knows why it is useful. Also, I do not have an iPhone. Most people do not have iPhones, which has led to a terrible societal dilemma. iPhone-less people everywhere have become entirely dependent upon their iPhone-bearing comrades for all sorts of menial, yet somehow urgent needs.

Some uses of the iPhone include, but are not limited to: phonecalls. Also text messaging. Also, access to google earth (which is similar to the earth that we live on, only it is smaller and hand-held). In the alternate 'google earth' dimension, my home has not yet been built. Instead their sits a vacant, strangely triangular plot of empty land. I have heard different explanations for this.

Perhaps google earth is a bit 'behind the times' and will eventually get around to photographing my very real house. Or, quite possibly, it seems likely that google is not real, but is some kind of evil plot that has been perpetuated throughout all of these years. the mega-million dollar company is merely a front for an evil conspiracy generated from an alternate dimension. In this alternate universe, my house does not exist, and in a thoughtful stream of logical progression, I probably do not exist either.

Back to the iPhone. As established, its only uses are phone calls, texting, and google earth. The first two are useful, but also possible with numerous other phone types. Google earth is neither useful nor desirable.

To be continued...



-the Voter