A new program from Google has recently come to the attention of MASAP headquarters. This is good news. You can now hide from Internet Searches and Google Earth. However, the Google Opt-Out Program does not hide you from the all-searching eye of MASAP. Also, the eye of Sauron tends to be particularly intrusive.
Now that you have seen the official report, brought to us by the Onion News Network, I wish to give a few words about the Opt-Out Program.
1) Opter-Outers are Loser-Quitters.
2) The Onion is a premier source of all legitimate news.
3) MASAP (May All Sorcerers Apparate in the opt-out Program village). I personally believe that MASAP has the power to create a new Lord of the Rings style reality in the mountain village that Google has kindly created for us.
Also, do not forget to brush your teeth. Eric Frederic forgot to brush one night last week, and was thrown in the brink. Since then he has written me countless letters, just begging for a presidential pardon. I AM NOT THE PRESIDENT MR. FREDERIC. I'm just the guy who voted for the president. I do not have the authority to issue presidential pardons. I do not have authority to swat a fly that climbs into my can of orange soda. I do not have authority to pick my own nose, except at the command of Mr. President Yeager.
this is all.
-the Voter
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