Ninjas

My fellow masappers,

You have now been prepared for zombie attacks, robot invasions, and
the dangers of love. You have not, however, been prepared for the
most feared being of all: Ninjas.

Here are the five key facts you need to know about ninjas:

1. Anyone can become a ninja. Even cats can become ninjas. Don't believe me?

proof:


2. Ninjas are unspeakable violent. They speak Japanese and do
whatever they please. Also, they vacation in Ireland.

proof:


3. Ninjas are more deadly than velociraptors. Dwight Schrute even says so.

proof:


4. Ninjas are great at vanishing. Batman? Not so much.

proof:


5. Ninjas are everywhere. In fact, your mother, neighbor, and dog may
be ninjas.

proof: Have you ever met a ninja? Yes? There you go. No? Of course you
haven't. They're really good at being stealthy!

Yours until the ninjas attack,
Cait the Great