Boy With A Girl's Name

so i knew this one kid who had a girls name. only problem was, he was a boy.

this could quite possibly send me on a rampage about the injustices of parents to their children!
i mean, why should a boy be named Kelly, or Tracy, or Ashley? is that really necessary? next thing we will be hearing about boys with names like bertha, petunia, or jessica.

also, this reminds me of the spellings that parents come up with for their kids. sometimes i wonder--do you really think the parents were trying to be creative? i think it is more likely that they just can't spell.

take ashley for example. ashlee ashlie ashleigh.... what is that?

or another popular one: katie, kaite, katy, kaytee, kati, caydee. come on, we might as well use fonetiks and spell it kt. you know, it seems to me like some of us deserve it when the substitute teacher can't pronounce our name...



well back to the one kid that i knew (the one who was a boy, but had a girls name... remember that one?)

i will not tell you his name for fear of incriminating him. also for fear of my life. also, if i told you his name you would think that he was a girl.

basically, because he grew up being called by this feminine name, his whole childhood he tried to do as manly things as possible to make up for it. he gave a lot of black eyes to the school bullies before they learned to leave him alone. when he got into junior high, his mom suggested that he join the choir. "choir? no way, jose!" (he called his mom a masculine name as a subtle reminder of the lifelong torment that he was suffering) "I ain't gonna sing in no choir! I'm gonna be captain of the football team!" and so he tried out. started out as a little runt in sixth grade, but by his senior year of high school, he weighed 250 lbs, was the varsity captain, and was dating most of the cheerleaders...simultaneously.

nevermind that his name was more feminine than half of the cheerleaders he dated! he was a man! and anyone stupid enough to say otherwise would get stuffed into a locker.

moral of the story, parents beware! while a name like jessica will create a mild, soft-spoken little girl, the very same name will create a male monster!

-the Voter