What do you think of when you hear "MASAP"? (check all that apply)

When I am older, I will

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The awkward nature of Landon Moore

It has come to my attention lately that everyone is very different. While on the surface, a lot of people seem generally the same, if you dig down deep, you find that everyone has their own quirks; some very strange and others not. At the same time, it has come to my attention that a lot of people are not comfortable with their own quirks. These quirks of which I speak are of the physical type. But let me degrade myself, that perhaps you might feel better.

Let me tell you three things about me.

1. I have large ears. A woman told my mom once when all of my brothers and I were young that we had “clown ears.” Also, upon learning that we got them from our dad, this same woman told my mom, “You must have loved him very much.”

2. I have deep-set eyes. I was unaware of this fact until my freshman year of high school, when someone broke it to me that my eyes were “really far in my head.” More recently, I was told that it looked like someone shoved their fingers into my eye so they are far into my head.

3. I walk with a slight limp. This limp is totally natural, and I’ve always had it. Some might assume that I limp because I was hit by a truck and broke my femur and had to be life-flighted to Phoenix and was in the hospital for three days and on a walker for two weeks and crutches for three months and I have a big piece of metal in my leg. But no, that’s not it. It has led to ceaseless jokes from my siblings. In fact, I trip over the half-court line when I play basketball and I don’t run into things. Things run into me.

Now before I fall into a depression because of my excessive self-degradation, I will explain why I ridicule myself so. You see, I could be embarrassed because of my large ears, my deep set eyes, and my limp.

OR. Think about it this way.

I have large ears so I can better hear the sound of all the girls calling my name. My deep-set eyes are perfect so all the girls can stare dreamily into them. And I have an imperfection in my leg, just like everyone has imperfections. Because it’s when we see a person’s imperfections, and can look past them or even appreciate them, that is when true love results. This has been your pre-Valentine’s Day message from MASAP. Have a very happy Valentine’s Day! Don’t forget that we all have our imperfections. Also, I hope that I have helped you find solace in the fact that you really are not so awfully weird as you thought.

Here is your video. I don’t mind the song so much, but the video has a slightly creepy feel to it. Watch out for his smile. He might be a cowboy casanova.

Love always,
Landon Moore
Your ***MASAP Daily Newsletter*** archivist.

No comments:

Post a Comment