My Sad Little Happy Life

As a few of you may know, I've been experiencing strange physical symptoms for many years. Countless doctors and endless tests did nothing to diagnose my condition, and I felt helpless.

That all changed today. I'm grateful for MASAP and the medium it provides me to blog about my life, my ideas, my feelings and my Justin Bieber. And today you all have the unique opportunity to hear about my diagnosis, which, while terminal, is a welcome relief to the years of waiting, wondering and most of all: suffering.

I met with a special team of specialists at the BYU Health Clinic this morning and tested positive for awesome.

I'm awesome! Now I know why I've always been able to read minds. Now I know why I'm so incredibly talented at Ultimate Frisbee. No longer will I wonder who is the best Fugitive runner or hardcore Parkour enthusiast. The answer is me! Special talents such as

1) the ability to destroy Lynn Ellis' yard, backyard, interior house and self-esteem

2) eating 15 cadbury eggs in one sitting

3) being able to detect one part shark in one million parts air

4) knowing how to sing the National Anthem of every South American and African nation

5) vampire hunting skills

6) extreme clothes ironing capability

were all only possible because of my handicap!

Today is April Fool's Day. There was only one good April Fool's joke, and I gotta give the guy props. There we were in class, and the Professor suggested we play Simon Says. We all thought he was joking on this day of Jokes, but no, he was dead serious. We all stand up and he starts calling out commands. About halfway through the game (half the people had lost already and had left the classroom), the Professor grabs his chest with his hands and falls to the floor. Very good, professor, very good. Just try and get me to move from my position (which happened to be left foot green, right hand yellow and left hand Alycia's thyroid gland) to save you from your "heart attack". Imagine our surprise when he got all stiff and cold. That was awkward.

I don't have long to live. The Specialists said that someone with my condition has only a limited amount of time to live. Until then, don't follow me. I walk through walls.

Besides myself, you know what else is awesome? There's a new species of Penguin that was discovered that can actually FLY. Today's video is courtesy of Eric Moore from Jay's Bird Barn. Thanks for sending me this link dad! Oh yeah, the BBC helped out too.

-Travis Moore

Awesome.