Dearest Masappers,
Phone calls have but one purpose: they created office jobs for those formerly known as door-to-door salesmen.
I’m reminded of a story of one of the Presidents’ of the United States who was in the White House one evening when the “emergency telephone” rang. That telephone is directly linked to a few select individuals, including the governors of each State. He answered it to find a telemarketer on the other line.
I like phone calls. Much better than texts, actually, though I engage in a fair bit of those. My longest phone call ever was about a year ago, a 3-way call with Natalie and Eric that lasted for 5 hours and 45 minutes. I know for a fact that I was asleep for some of that conversation.
Phone call etiquette has deteriorated as cellphones have become ubiquitous. Consequently, the Daily Universe would like to remind everyone that you shouldn’t call 911 to find out what time the BYU football game is, though it’s quite appropriate, should you need an outside opinion, to ask the operator if you look like a butter factory.
I end with a plea for all to heed the wise words of Michael Sylvestre during his travel safety speech on February 14th, 2010: "Always talk on your cellphone while driving."
-Travis Moore
Phone Call Enthusiast
928.848.7170 Call me!
Bonus video:
And now Julian Smith's third take on "Get Your Own iPhone".
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
iPhone part 2
After yesterdays discussion of google earth, I felt that it would be important to explore other aspects of the iPhone.
In our prior discussion, we established that one of the primary capabilities of the iPhone is its ability to send and receive text messages. However, there is some controversy as to whether this is actually a good thing.
The first text message was sent in 1989 by Edward Lantz, a former employee of NASA. Quickly gaining popularity, it has become dangerous.
From the articlesbase.com article, "The History of Text Messaging," we read:
"According to the Global Messaging Survey conducted by Nokia, text messaging has been proven to be an addictive activity. This has been confirmed by a study by the University of Queensland which is based in Australia. It has been compared to be as addictive as cigarette smoking."
Wow. wow. Not only has Apple inadvertently connected itself with the google earth scam, it has also become an advocate of addictive behaviors, encouraging children all over the world to smoke.
As if that wasn't enough, my mom has started text messaging. What is the world coming to?
To Be Continued...
-the Voter
In our prior discussion, we established that one of the primary capabilities of the iPhone is its ability to send and receive text messages. However, there is some controversy as to whether this is actually a good thing.
The first text message was sent in 1989 by Edward Lantz, a former employee of NASA. Quickly gaining popularity, it has become dangerous.
From the articlesbase.com article, "The History of Text Messaging," we read:
"According to the Global Messaging Survey conducted by Nokia, text messaging has been proven to be an addictive activity. This has been confirmed by a study by the University of Queensland which is based in Australia. It has been compared to be as addictive as cigarette smoking."
Wow. wow. Not only has Apple inadvertently connected itself with the google earth scam, it has also become an advocate of addictive behaviors, encouraging children all over the world to smoke.
As if that wasn't enough, my mom has started text messaging. What is the world coming to?
To Be Continued...
-the Voter
Monday, March 8, 2010
iPhone
Inspired by Julian Smith, we are going to have a four part series on the Apple iPhone.
The iPhone is a device that is apparently useful. No one is aware exactly how it works, and no one knows why it is useful. Also, I do not have an iPhone. Most people do not have iPhones, which has led to a terrible societal dilemma. iPhone-less people everywhere have become entirely dependent upon their iPhone-bearing comrades for all sorts of menial, yet somehow urgent needs.
Some uses of the iPhone include, but are not limited to: phonecalls. Also text messaging. Also, access to google earth (which is similar to the earth that we live on, only it is smaller and hand-held). In the alternate 'google earth' dimension, my home has not yet been built. Instead their sits a vacant, strangely triangular plot of empty land. I have heard different explanations for this.
Perhaps google earth is a bit 'behind the times' and will eventually get around to photographing my very real house. Or, quite possibly, it seems likely that google is not real, but is some kind of evil plot that has been perpetuated throughout all of these years. the mega-million dollar company is merely a front for an evil conspiracy generated from an alternate dimension. In this alternate universe, my house does not exist, and in a thoughtful stream of logical progression, I probably do not exist either.
Back to the iPhone. As established, its only uses are phone calls, texting, and google earth. The first two are useful, but also possible with numerous other phone types. Google earth is neither useful nor desirable.
To be continued...
-the Voter
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Comedians All Around Us
Dear Masappers,
Humor. It makes me happy. It makes me laugh.
Experiences from tonight:
Some friends and I went to Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s speech tonight on the BYU campus, specifically in the basketball arena. The sports center gets used for both sporting events and speeches, so they have different sets of lighting. Tonight they were using stage lights and had them shining on all the audience seating areas. At the very beginning of the meeting I heard this conversation from the couple sitting in front of me:
Guy: These lights are really bright! *shields his eyes with his hands*
Girl: *laughs in surprise* Do you want to move? *starts giggling uncontrollably at the thought of moving*
Guy: Yeah! These lights are really bright!
Girl: *still giggling* *gradually stops giggling…..*
Guy and Girl: Get up and move to a more dimly-lit section of the arena
What a fun little interaction, especially because the girl was laughing at her boyfriend, who was serious from the beginning.
As we were leaving we passed a few buses in the parking lot. As we passed the open doors of one of the buses I heard this true gem:
Lady standing at the front of the bus: Is there anyone on this bus who is not supposed to be on this bus?
I scanned the occupants of the bus and saw someone jokingly raise their hand, then lower it before being noticed by the lady. That’s not funny though; what’s funny is that group that ended up with more people than they started with and the poor lady in charge trying to figure out how that was possible!
Many years ago Jerry Seinfeld released a movie called ‘The Comedian’. I’ve never seen the film, but the trailer, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the film itself, is epic. Enjoy!
Travis Moore,
Supreme Overmaster Highlord Grand Moff Superdude.
Humor. It makes me happy. It makes me laugh.
Experiences from tonight:
Some friends and I went to Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s speech tonight on the BYU campus, specifically in the basketball arena. The sports center gets used for both sporting events and speeches, so they have different sets of lighting. Tonight they were using stage lights and had them shining on all the audience seating areas. At the very beginning of the meeting I heard this conversation from the couple sitting in front of me:
Guy: These lights are really bright! *shields his eyes with his hands*
Girl: *laughs in surprise* Do you want to move? *starts giggling uncontrollably at the thought of moving*
Guy: Yeah! These lights are really bright!
Girl: *still giggling* *gradually stops giggling…..*
Guy and Girl: Get up and move to a more dimly-lit section of the arena
What a fun little interaction, especially because the girl was laughing at her boyfriend, who was serious from the beginning.
As we were leaving we passed a few buses in the parking lot. As we passed the open doors of one of the buses I heard this true gem:
Lady standing at the front of the bus: Is there anyone on this bus who is not supposed to be on this bus?
I scanned the occupants of the bus and saw someone jokingly raise their hand, then lower it before being noticed by the lady. That’s not funny though; what’s funny is that group that ended up with more people than they started with and the poor lady in charge trying to figure out how that was possible!
Many years ago Jerry Seinfeld released a movie called ‘The Comedian’. I’ve never seen the film, but the trailer, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the film itself, is epic. Enjoy!
Travis Moore,
Supreme Overmaster Highlord Grand Moff Superdude.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Circular Reality
So here is the story, a very true story.
I was walking to school one day with my good friend wolverine and we were talking about politics when suddenly a giant hole opened up in the sky. It looked very much like a vortex of some sort, and before anyone had time to react a small green object came flying out of the vortex and fell down to the earth. As it struck the ground a giant explosion went off and wolverine jumped in front of me to try and stop the blast. I was miraculously safe, but wolverine was torn to pieces and for some strange reason his powers blasted out of him and into me.
The next few months were a living nightmare, everything inside a 10 mile radius was completely destroyed and and radiation caused by the bomb turned almost everyone else on the earth into a crazed flesh eating zombie. The few of us that survived the blast and the radiation were forced to run for our lives and scavenge off the land. Me and a few other people found food and shelter in a local mini-mall. Still we knew it was a matter of time until the zombies found us.
This day eventually came and the zombies started to swarm our mall. We decided to hole up in a CVS. As we ran inside, the metal gate game down and cut me clean in half, but since I still had wolverine's powers both halves grew back into a complete me, one on the inside of the CVS and one on the outside. My current consciousness resided in the me inside of the CVS and i could tell by the look in the other Me's eyes that he was pure evil. In that instant he ran away... never to be seen again.
I decided to put a stop to this zombie apocalypse once and for all. So using the various flavors of mint gum I constructed a bomb that would wipe all the zombies off the face of the earth. With a well aimed throw I lobbed the bomb at the zombies, but all of the sudden I saw my evil half approaching with a strange metallic device. He hit a button on this device and before I knew what was going on, a giant vortex opened up right in front of me. Through this vortex I saw my school in the past. I watched in horror as my mint bomb flew into the vortex and straight at a small boy and wolverine walking to school...
True dream I had.
-Ace Mckenzi Defender of the Truth
I was walking to school one day with my good friend wolverine and we were talking about politics when suddenly a giant hole opened up in the sky. It looked very much like a vortex of some sort, and before anyone had time to react a small green object came flying out of the vortex and fell down to the earth. As it struck the ground a giant explosion went off and wolverine jumped in front of me to try and stop the blast. I was miraculously safe, but wolverine was torn to pieces and for some strange reason his powers blasted out of him and into me.
The next few months were a living nightmare, everything inside a 10 mile radius was completely destroyed and and radiation caused by the bomb turned almost everyone else on the earth into a crazed flesh eating zombie. The few of us that survived the blast and the radiation were forced to run for our lives and scavenge off the land. Me and a few other people found food and shelter in a local mini-mall. Still we knew it was a matter of time until the zombies found us.
This day eventually came and the zombies started to swarm our mall. We decided to hole up in a CVS. As we ran inside, the metal gate game down and cut me clean in half, but since I still had wolverine's powers both halves grew back into a complete me, one on the inside of the CVS and one on the outside. My current consciousness resided in the me inside of the CVS and i could tell by the look in the other Me's eyes that he was pure evil. In that instant he ran away... never to be seen again.
I decided to put a stop to this zombie apocalypse once and for all. So using the various flavors of mint gum I constructed a bomb that would wipe all the zombies off the face of the earth. With a well aimed throw I lobbed the bomb at the zombies, but all of the sudden I saw my evil half approaching with a strange metallic device. He hit a button on this device and before I knew what was going on, a giant vortex opened up right in front of me. Through this vortex I saw my school in the past. I watched in horror as my mint bomb flew into the vortex and straight at a small boy and wolverine walking to school...
True dream I had.
-Ace Mckenzi Defender of the Truth
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